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4am? Best part of the day

August 25, 2012

Can’t sleep again. Trapped wind & noisy neighbours…who aren’t that loud, but the walls in these old houses are thin! I’ve come down to blog & make some Lemon Balm tea, which is from the plant I have out the back.

I’m puzzling over a poem too, which is the main reason for this post.

The late afternoon sun pours in

covering the bed and your naked body

with a brightness that’s almost painful.

 

And the feelings I have as I look down at you

are almost too intense to bear, sweat sheen

that covers our body a thin membrane of desire.

I sent this to Bob (Beagrie) as I often do with new stuff, he being a poet whose stuff I love & opinion I respect, as well as being a really old mate. He thought the first stanza was great, but the 2nd was (and I quote) “…is too abstract within the vivid concreteness of the rest of the poem and feels like a cop out of generic description.” I’d been puzzling over it since he replied & as soon as I put it on here the answer became clear! 2nd verse? Get rid of it! Simple…

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